10 things Indians say to Americans

Hello People,
I've lived in America now for about a year and half and in that time I have met quite a few extremely unique*cough* people. It's interesting when people from different cultures speak to each other, to see the assumptions that are inherently made, the cultural differences and most of all, the accents. The belief system is so different, things that shock Indians, Americans find okay.

That, in a nutshell is what I wanted to talk about. And since I don't remember the last time I was serious about something, I thought the best way to show it is to laugh a little at the expense of my people

So, here we go

   1.) Our spicy is a lot spicier than your spicy

   We are proud to a level of arrogance about this. For us, there is no spicy food, only food that contains spice, which WE can eat.

      

   2.) Why are you actually stopping at stop signs? Did you see traffic police?

   Yeah, so, in India, traffic rules aren’t mandatory, only suggestions, which one may choose to follow, or not; until “mamu” shows up.

   3.) Wait, refills are free?

   You know how refills of drinks are free almost everywhere here!!! Yeah, that doesn't happen in India, and frankly, it’s about god damn time.

                               

    

   4.) Where is the petrol pump?

   We call gas stations petrol pumps. I’m actually with India on this one. They technically are petrol pumps!!! Sooooo, 1 point to India, I guess

                                   

   5.) No I won't talk in the Indian accent

   You know how people think we have that funny accent we don’t have? Yeah, we don’t have it! (Cue Russell Peters’ music here!)

                                   

   6.) So there aren't separate sections for guys and girls on this metro/bus! Sweet

   We do. We have separate sections. I mean, it’s honestly our fault!

                                   

   7.) My son is a doctor

   Seriously, when is it too many doctors?

                                   

   8.) How can you not know who Sachin is?

   He is GOD (to half of India anyway; which by the way is still twice the American population). Seriously, look it up if you don’t believe me. “Indian God of cricket”

                                   

   9.) So I'm not supposed to ask you how much money your ex-husbands neighbor's son makes?

The mighty society,

with a unique psyche,

acting like Aphrodite,

wanting to know everything known by almighty…

Good rhymes.. No? Okay, moving on

   10.)     What’s your good name?

   This last one is special. Not only is this a classic example of what is called Indianism or Indian English but it’s also superlatively, extremely hilarious. Personally, I hold that sort of information close to my heart and only divulge my evil pseudonym.

   I’m sure I've missed some. Leave your Indianisms in the comments!

   Cheers,
   Dhiraj